Us Open
This reflection is a look behind the scenes of my experience at the 2026 U.S. Open.
I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on the U.S. Open and what it actually takes to show up for something that big. I’ve realized that for a long time, I was waiting for a feeling of being "ready" that never actually comes. I spent about six years focused on all the things that didn’t feel quite right and worrying about getting compromised, and really, that fear was the biggest thing holding me back. It took me a while to learn that being ready isn't a feeling; it’s a choice you make every single day.
Leading up to the Open, I started practicing the Law of Assumption. Instead of waiting to see if things would work out or looking for signs of success, I just decided that my victory was already a fact. I had to get my mind to a place where it was sound, steady, and stable, and stop letting the noise of the future dictate my present. I’d wake up, chant that I would show up for myself, and remind myself not to live in tomorrow, but just to stay in the moment.
The reality of the tournament was its own kind of test, especially doing it all while balancing life with a baby. I remember being in the wrestling room, right in the middle of a cut-weight practice, and Abrams just wasn't wanting to be around anyone. I had to stop and start constantly, shifting my focus from the mat to him. In the past, that kind of disruption would have sent me into a spiral of anxiety, but I’ve learned that these emotions aren't problems—they’re just signals. ( James 1:2-4 you learn to be patient in suffering, you will be all God wants you to be). The discomfort I felt wasn't a sign that I was failing; it was just my brain trying to pull me back into the safety of being comfortable. I just had to be resilient and stay focused on the work.
I’m also learning that doubt doesn't ever really go away. If anything, it gets louder when things start to matter more. I used to think that anxiety meant I was doing something wrong, or that I needed to hold back my belief to keep from "jinxing" it. Now, I see doubt as just another muscle. You have to exercise it. It’s not something you fight or silence; you just acknowledge it and keep moving. I’m not chasing the feeling of being sure anymore; I’m chasing the work and the consistency.
I know I lost in the finals, but I left with a lot of gratitude. Having Travis and my in-laws there to take care of Abrams so I could step onto the mat was everything to me. Seeing them in the stands cheering me on reminded me that this is bigger than just me. My thoughts shape me, my habits build me, and my choices define me. I’m already looking ahead and keeping my focus on the 2028 Olympics, just taking it one breath at a time. I’m not looking for perfection, just to be better than I was yesterday.