A Daily Journal of June: Owning the Flaws. June 3rd
Hardheads make soft butts and the little things win the day.
Photo by Usa Wrestling June 3rd, Wednesday | 7:54 pm
“Hardheads make soft butts.”
I remember hearing this phrase a lot growing up. It was an endearing warning: if you don't pay attention and listen to the advice you're given, you're going to end up wishin’ you did. Most importantly before the “I told ya so.” Do I actually understand where the "soft butt" part comes from? No. I still can't really wrap my head around how that makes sense or how the butt gets soft in the analogy —so if you figure that out before I do, please let me know. But I get the point and maybe that is a telling sign of why I’m writing what I’m writing in my journal today.
I’ve heard countless phrases in my life reminding me that the little things matter: get 1% better every day; build it brick by brick. And at my ripe age of 28, those subtle nuances really stood out to me. Finding those minor victories was my ultimate win today. It was the little things for the win.
Today was my first time having two practices in a day in a while. The fatigue is a given, right? That’s the most obvious thing to notice—the exhaustion and all the hard moments. But I remember thinking to myself that I didn't want to write another I am uncomfortable, "I pushed through the pain" journal entry. That kind of suffering is a given in this sport. Pain is fatigue and soreness, so whoopty-doo.
I tried to rack my brain to dig deeper and figure out what I could actually learn and use to get better. Then, it just randomly clicked, giving me the inspiration to sit down and write.
When I went back and looked at my practice notes—the quick, minor details I had jotted down about what stood out to me—I noticed they all had things in common. I realized that the broader positions, narratives, perspectives, and situations will eventually figure themselves out. For example, I go from thinking, "I can't finish my shots," to actively adding different finishing scenarios, building series, and chain wrestling from that very problem area.
I've made this mistake a lot in wrestling: focusing on too much at once. It causes this intense brain fatigue where I start meticulously picking apart positions, focusing solely on what's not working rather than what is. It reminds me of a conversation I had with Marcie at the Titan Mercury social after the Open. She told me that I don't need to hyper-fixate on the positions that frustrated me or the things I felt hindered me in my match. Instead, I need to focus on what I am good at—focus on what worked even if I didnt come out on top.
I notice now that this is the root problem masking the tiny elements of my wrestling. You get so caught up in the bigger picture—"this person did this, and then I did that, and then this, this, this, this"—when it’s actually pretty simple. I got here. This was in my way. What can I do to still execute my game plan and get to the position I want?
Start working on what you're good at and find different remedies from there. That advice hit home for me that day with Marcie, but in this exact moment, it makes even more sense.
It's like watching a movie for the second time and catching entirely new pieces of information. As wrestlers, we’re so consumed with grabbing as much data as possible and learning so many new moves, which leads to a blind neglect of the nuanced details within the skills we already possess. It brings me back to another old-school saying: the grass is not greener on the other side. As much as my own grass might feel pretty yellow right now, I will stay and water it. With each passing day, that water will build, the grass will grow, and it will turn into something.
If I want to grow, I have to master the subtle steps, much like watering a seed that will eventually turn into a plant. On a lighter note, today I truly understood how much the finer details matter. I'm excited to build on them, to get fatigued by them, and to grow the discipline required to not just blindly move on to the "next best thing" out of boredom. I don't want to avoid returning to the basics until I’m forced to.
And I think the coolest realization of all is breaking that negative thought loop of, "How does she defend this, and why did I fall short last time?"
Because maybe... that's the soft butt.